Young man flirting with two girls
Handsome young man flirting with two girls in the street

In the teen world today, being a virgin is a disgrace, humiliation, “What, you’re still a virgin?”

As a Christian, you want to answer these critical ones with confidence. This chapter should help you to do so.

THE OUTSIDERA virgin is someone has never had sexual intercourse. For older ones, you likely have not heard the new term, “technical virgins,” even though they may have had all other forms of sex, including oral. Sex can refer to such things as oral sex, anal sex, or masturbating another person. The truth is you have engaged in any of these forms of sex, you are no longer a virgin.

The Bible is still the best-selling book even today. However, it is the most misunderstood book today as well, as biblical illiteracy among Christians is above 95 percent. Nevertheless, most Christians know that sex can only be had between a man and a woman who are married to each other. (Pro. 5:18)  Therefore, you must determine in your heart if you want to please God or your friends.–1 Thessalonians 4:3-5.

Many today in this liberal progressive world that we live in; they do not see the Bible as advantageous, but an outdated book that need not be listened to, for it is out of touch. However, the modern world that is supposed to be so advanced is plagued with divorce, unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and suicide.–1 John 2:15-17.

If we think of the moral code within Scripture, it has been with us for thousands of years. Yes, some Christian groups have used the moral values of Scripture to oppress others but the Bible cannot be faulted for those that misunderstand it or those that twist its words for their own selfish ends. To illustrate what if a doctor handed out great medical advice but most of his patients ignored it. Would we blame the doctor for the willful negligence of the patient?

No teen Christian should ever want to throw away their virginity like someone throwing their life savings into winning the lottery. The odds are that you lose your virginity to someone who will not even remember your name a few years from now. Sex relations is a special gift from God that is meant for drawing closer to your spouse and growing a loving family. The Bible expects Christians to retain their virginity until marriage, living by the moral standards set out by our Creator.

1 Corinthians 6:18 Updated American Standard Version (UASV)

18 Flee from sexual immorality.[1] Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

6:18. Paul began his conclusion to this section with an abrupt command: Flee … immorality. It is likely that the apostle had in mind Joseph’s example of fleeing Potiphar’s wife (Gen. 39:12). Paul instructed the young pastor Timothy in a similar way (2 Tim. 2:22). Rather than moderate resistance to immorality, Paul insisted on radical separation.

Paul’s radical advice rested on the uniqueness of sexual sin. In contrast with all other sins, immorality is against one’s own body. The meaning of these words is difficult to determine. Many sins, such as substance abuse, gluttony, and suicide, have detrimental effects on the body. Paul’s words do not refer to disease and/or other damage caused by sin. Instead, his words are linked to the preceding discussion of 6:12–17. There Paul established that Christians’ bodies are joined with Christ so that they become “members of Christ” (6:15) himself.

Sexual union with a prostitute violates one’s body by bringing it into a wrongful “one flesh” union, and by flaunting the mystical union with Christ (6:15). It is in this sense that sexual immorality is a unique sin against the body. It violates the most significant fact about believers’ physical existence: their bodies belong to Christ.[2]

There needs to be some forethought before you face these temptations. Therefore, you need to know what the Bible says about these things before you face the pressure.

James 1:14-15 Updated American Standard Version (UASV)

14 But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own desire.[3] 15 Then the desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

Verses 14–15 outline the beginnings of sin in the human heart. First, openness to temptation develops from weaknesses in the human heart. Dragged away and enticed comes from the language of fishing. The first word described the act of luring fish from their hiding places. The second word pictured the enticing of fish as with a juicy worm on a hook. Evil desire is the bait which hooks the human being. The Bible will not let us blame heredity, an evil environment, or wicked companions for sin. The blame rests squarely on the individual, on you and me.

Verse 15 uses the language of childbirth to trace the development of evil desire. A conception occurs when persons surrender their wills to lust. The conception produces a child named sin. When sin becomes full grown, it produces death.

Practically speaking, sin occurs whenever a person’s mind approves the performance of a sinful act. Whenever the person repeatedly approves the same sin, the result is death. This is death in all its terror—a total disintegration of the personality, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It leads to a separation from God lasting for eternity. It all begins when an individual yields his will to evil. No one can blame God for this. I do it to myself.

The act of temptation itself is not sinful. Sin develops only when an individual assents to the deed and agrees that it is good or desirable. Our evil nature and disobedient wills provide an easy avenue along which temptation can stroll. Sin develops only when we invite temptation to leave the avenue and visit with us personally.

Verses 14 and 15 do not mention the role of Satan in temptation. The Bible pictures Satan as active in temptation (1 Pet. 5:8–9), but James was not presenting a complete analysis of all temptation. He only wanted to show that God was not the cause of sin. He laid the blame for sin upon human weakness and disobedience.[4]

You need to be prepared to explain your beliefs and values to others. If someone is teasing you over sex, he or she likely does not deserve an answer. Simply tell that straightforward that is none of their business. If they are trying to bully you over sex or anything else, they deserve no response at all; you just need to walk away. Bullies thrive on getting a rise out of you, as it feeds their ego. Do not give them the satisfaction by responding.

What if a person is questioning you about sex and they are sincere and being respectful, how should you respond? If you believe that, they will listen to the Word of God, share what your beliefs and values are and offer them a few Scriptures that explains why, like 1 Corinthians 6:18. You need not pull out your Bible and start reading, you can simply paraphrase the text. In addition, you need not even use Scriptures initially; you just need to express your convictions. You have the right to be proud and happy with your beliefs and values (1 Pet. 3:16) When you speak with confidence and conviction, it lets the other know that you are serious and unbending.

We need to close this chapter by stating any young one that has already given up your virginity to another, do not despair because God will view you as though you are pure and clean in his eyes if we are regretful, remorseful, contrite over our actions.

We as imperfect humans can be accredited a righteous standing before God, being accepted back into the family of God. He makes allowances for our imperfection.

Psalm 103:9-14 Updated American Standard Version (UASV)

He will not always find fault,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
10 He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repaid us according to our errors.[5]
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is his lovingkindness toward those who fear him.
12 As far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so Jehovah has compassion on those who fear him.
14 For he himself knows our formation;
he remembers that we are dust.

 Isaiah 38:17 Updated American Standard Version (UASV)

17 Look, it was for my welfare
that I had great bitterness;
but in love you have delivered my soul
from the pit of destruction,
for you have cast all my sins
behind your back

Micah 7:18-19 Updated American Standard Version (UASV)

18 Who is a God like you, pardoning error[6]
and passing over transgression[7]
for the remnant of his inheritance?
He does not retain his anger forever,
because he delights in lovingkindness.
19 He will again have compassion on us;
he will tread our iniquities underfoot.
You will cast all our sins
into the depths of the sea
.

You will notice in Psalm 103:12, that God removes the sins of the repentant one as far as the east is from the west. The picture being painted is, to the human mind that is the farthest you can remove something, as there is no greater distance. In Isaiah 38, we are given another visual, God throwing our sins behind his back, meaning he can no longer see them as they are out of sight, thus out of mind. In Micah, our last example, we see that God hurls all of the sins of a repentant person into the depths of the sea. In the setting of the ancient person, this meant that retrieving them was literally impossible. In other words, God has removed them, never to be retrieved or brought to mind ever again. This was the viewpoint that he had before Jesus ever even offered himself as a ransom sacrifice.

[1] Sexual Immorality: (Heb. zanah; Gr. porneia) A general term for immoral sexual acts of any kind: such as adultery, prostitution, sexual relations between people not married to each other, homosexuality, and bestiality.–Num. 25:1; Deut. 22:21; Matt. 5:32; 1 Cor. 5:1.

[2] Richard L. Pratt Jr, I & II Corinthians, vol. 7, Holman New Testament Commentary (Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2000), 101.

[3] Or “own lust

[4] Thomas D. Lea, Hebrews, James, vol. 10, Holman New Testament Commentary (Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1999), 261–262.

[5] Error: (Heb., ʿāwōn; Gr. anomia, paranomia) The Hebrew word awon essentially relates to erring, acting illegally or wrongly. This aspect of sin refers to committing a perverseness, wrongness, lawlessness, law breaking, which can also include the rejection of the sovereignty of God. It also focuses on the liability or guilt of one’s wicked, wrongful act. This error may be deliberate or accidental; either willful deviation of what is right or unknowingly making a mistake. (Lev. 4:13-35; 5:1-6, 14-19; Num. 15:22-29; Ps 19:12, 13) Of course, if it is intentional; then, the consequence is far more serious. (Num. 15:30-31) Error is in opposition to the truth, and those willfully sinning corrupt the truth, a course that only brings forth flagrant sin. (Isa 5:18-23) We can be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.–Ex 9:27, 34-35; Heb. 3:13-15.

[6] Error: (Heb., ʿāwōn; Gr. anomia, paranomia) The Hebrew word awon essentially relates to erring, acting illegally or wrongly. This aspect of sin refers to committing a perverseness, wrongness, lawlessness, law breaking, which can also include the rejection of the sovereignty of God. It also focuses on the liability or guilt of one’s wicked, wrongful act. This error may be deliberate or accidental; either willful deviation of what is right or unknowingly making a mistake. (Lev. 4:13-35; 5:1-6, 14-19; Num. 15:22-29; Ps 19:12, 13) Of course, if it is intentional; then, the consequence is far more serious. (Num. 15:30-31) Error is in opposition to the truth, and those willfully sinning corrupt the truth, a course that only brings forth flagrant sin. (Isa 5:18-23) We can be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.–Ex 9:27, 34-35; Heb. 3:13-15.

[7] Transgression: (Heb. ’avar; Gr. parabasis) Sin can take the form of a “transgression.” This is an overstepping, namely, to exceed a moral limit or boundary. Biblically speaking, this would be crossing the line and saying, feeling, thinking or doing something that is contrary to God’s personality, standards, ways, will and purposes, as set out in the Scriptures. It is breaking God’s moral law.–Num. 14:41; Deut. 17:2, 3; Josh. 7:11, 15; 1 Sam 15:24; Isa 24:5; Jer. 34:18; Rom. 2:23; 4:15; 5:14; Gal. 3:19; 1 Tim. 2:14; Heb. 2:2; 9:15.