friends taking picture for selfie

“We do not talk about our sexual thoughts to our parents or adults because we don’t want to disappoint them, or get yelled at.”–Bethany.

In a detailed study of 283 students between the ages of 18 and 25 for a one-week period, the median number of sexual thoughts for men every 24 hours was 18.6 and for women every 24 hours it was 9.9. In contrast, the average for men every 24 hours was 34.2, and for women every 24 hours, it was 18.6.[1] We can probably enhance this statistic a little higher for boys and girls between the ages of 12-17, as they are just entering puberty, where the hormones are raging in this stage in human physiological development.

THE OUTSIDERWise Choice of Friend: The truth is. Generally, you will become like those that you spend a lot of time with, such as close friends. If your friends are talking about sex, you will eventually join in, which means controlling your thoughts will be far more difficult. If others, maybe not your friends, in the school cafeteria or before classes are ones who constantly talk about sex, you can make adjustments to not sit near these ones without appearing self-righteous and being ridiculed.

What you may not understand is, the sexual thoughts that you have are like viruses on a computer, it is only a matter of time before the machine fails. Now, it is virtually impossible that you will never go without having sexual thoughts or hearing sexual conversations among others. Nevertheless, why fuel the flame into a forest fire, if you can limit the amount of fuel?

Former Influences: Parents, teachers, coaches and the like influenced the youth of the 1950s and 1960s.

Entertainment: Most young people today are very much influenced by hip-hop, rap, and heavy metal music, as well reality television, celebrities, movies, video games, and the internet, especially social media. Parents are now allowing their children to receive life-altering opinions, beliefs, and worldviews from the likes of Snooki, a cast member of the MTV reality show Jersey Shore. Kim Kardashian and her family rose to prominence with their reality television series, Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

The ABC Family Channel (owned by Disney) comes across as a channel that you would want your children watching. However, most of the shows are nothing more than dysfunctional families, promotions of homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle, and young actors and actresses that are playing underage teens in high school, running around killing, causing havoc, and having sexual intercourse with multiple characters on the show. In August 2006, an all-new slogan and visual style premiered on ABC Family: A New Kind of Family. The channel shows such programming as Pretty Little Liars, Twisted, The Fosters, Melissa & Joey, Switched at Birth, The Lying Game, Bunheads and Baby Daddy.

The world has added new words to their vocabulary, like “sexting,” which is the act of sending sexually explicit messages and/or photographs, primarily between cell phones. The term was first popularized in 2007. Then, there is “F-Bomb,” which we are not going to define fully other than to say that the dictionary considers it “a lighthearted and printable euphemism” for something far more offensive. If all of the above is unfamiliar to you as a parent, and you have a teen or preteen child, you may want to Google the information.

Regardless of the degree of the relationship, these relationships often influence the thinking of a young life.  It is important that you do not allow the wrong persons to influence you. The truth is our thinking, and our actions are a direct result of bad associations, be it the wrong friends, music, celebrities, video games, or social media. The same holds true of good associations, like our parents, teachers, coaches, and good friends. The entertainment world today is designed to arouse sexual thoughts that lead to sexual urges. You can avoid those that purposely want to stimulate sexual desires.

The Truth: Sexual thoughts and feelings are not bad within themselves. After all, it is a natural desire that leads to marriage and the continuation of humanity. It is feeding that sexual desire before you are rightly able to satisfy those sexual desires in marriage. You have the freedom to choose what you take into your mind. If it is your desire to save your most precious possession for marriage, you can choose to do this, and no amount of pressure can move you to do otherwise.

2 Corinthians 7:1 Updated American Standard Version (UASV)

7 Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

[1] How Often Do Men and Women Think about Sex … (July 14, 2017) https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-sexual-continuum/201112/how-often-do-men-and-women-think-about-sex