Ten Common Questions Young Women Ask

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The questions a young woman asks about character, appearance, relationships, responsibilities, and the future deserve careful answers grounded in Scripture. These subjects concern the direction of her life and the habits through which that direction becomes established. Proverbs 1:7 identifies the fear of Jehovah as the beginning of knowledge, placing reverence for Him at the foundation of sound understanding. A helpful answer must therefore explain what God requires and how His instruction applies to the particular concern. Personal preference, social approval, and strong emotion cannot supply a reliable moral standard. In 2 Timothy 3:16–17, Scripture is presented as God’s provision for teaching, correction, and training in righteousness. A young woman grows in discernment as she studies that instruction, receives sound counsel, and applies what she learns. The following questions address decisions that require this continuing combination of understanding and obedience.

1. What Kind of Woman Should I Be Becoming?

A young woman should be becoming a faithful servant of Jehovah through Christ, distinguished by reverence, truthfulness, purity, kindness, and responsible conduct. Genesis 1:27 establishes that both male and female were created in God’s image, giving human dignity a foundation independent of appearance or public recognition. Proverbs 31:30 then identifies the fear of Jehovah as the quality deserving praise in a woman. Her development should therefore be evaluated by the character expressed in her choices. She should consider whether she tells the truth when doing so is inconvenient, receives correction without retaliation, and fulfills responsibilities without requiring constant supervision. Colossians 3:12–14 describes qualities such as compassion, kindness, humility, patience, and love that must govern relationships among believers. These qualities become visible when she listens carefully, assists someone in difficulty, and refuses to use another person’s weakness for personal advantage. Spiritual growth concerns the actual person she is becoming through repeated conduct.

A practical examination should focus on specific habits rather than a vague impression of being a good person. If she frequently changes a story to protect her reputation, truthfulness needs deliberate attention. If she speaks politely to admired people but harshly to family members, kindness has not yet become consistent. If she agrees with biblical teaching while resisting its application to a preferred relationship, her submission to Scripture requires correction. James 1:22 warns against hearing the Word without doing it, making practical obedience necessary. She should identify the conduct, understand the relevant command, pray honestly about it, and take the next appropriate step. Faithfulness also includes repentance when she falls short, because Proverbs 28:13 connects mercy with confession and abandonment of wrongdoing. Her progress should be measured by growing obedience to Jehovah rather than resemblance to a fashionable model of success.

2. How Can I Stop Comparing Myself With Other Women?

A young woman begins resisting harmful comparison by identifying what she has allowed another woman’s circumstances to determine about her own life. She may assume that greater beauty, a relationship, a particular income, or public recognition would finally establish her worth. Such a standard makes satisfaction dependent on advantages that belong to someone else. Galatians 6:4–5 directs each person to examine her own work and recognize her own responsibility. This instruction moves attention toward the duties and opportunities for which she is accountable. James 3:14–16 also warns that bitter jealousy and selfish ambition produce disorder and evil conduct. She should therefore acknowledge envy directly when another woman’s success creates resentment or a desire to diminish her. Recognizing the motive accurately makes it possible to address the conduct that is feeding it.

Practical resistance may require changing what she repeatedly views and how she responds to another woman’s advantages. If she continually studies photographs or updates that encourage resentment, she should reduce that exposure and return attention to her own responsibilities. She can also identify what she admires and determine whether it points to a useful quality she could learn without competing for the same recognition. Another woman’s diligence, kindness, or knowledge can provide an example worthy of imitation. In 1 Corinthians 4:7, Paul challenges boasting by reminding believers that what they possess has been received, giving a basis for humility and gratitude. Romans 12:15 calls Christians to rejoice with those who rejoice, requiring a response consistent with love. A young woman can acknowledge another woman’s accomplishment sincerely while continuing the work entrusted to her. Repeated gratitude, honest self-examination, and faithful action help replace rivalry with responsible growth.

3. How Should I Think About Beauty, Clothing, and Modesty?

Beauty should be regarded as an outward quality that cannot establish moral character or provide an enduring foundation for worth. Proverbs 31:30 directs praise toward the woman who fears Jehovah, while the surrounding passage describes diligence, generosity, trustworthy conduct, and wise speech. A young woman should therefore give greater attention to qualities that govern how she treats people and fulfills responsibilities. Appropriate personal care can accompany these qualities without becoming the center of life. In 1 Timothy 2:9–10, Paul connects clothing with modesty, soundness of mind, and good works consistent with godly reverence. This instruction requires consideration of the garment, the setting, the expense, and the purpose of the presentation. She should examine whether a choice serves an appropriate function or chiefly seeks sexual attention and admiration. The governing concern is whether her presentation agrees with the reverence for God that she professes.

Practical modesty requires thought before a purchase or event rather than an argument after a concern has been raised. A young woman can consider whether clothing provides appropriate coverage during ordinary movement and whether it suits the activity involved. She should also examine whether she is spending beyond her means to maintain an impressive appearance. A costly garment does not establish wisdom, and an ordinary garment does not reduce a woman’s dignity. James 2:1–4 condemns partiality associated with fine clothing, requiring respect for people regardless of outward display. In 1 Peter 3:3–4, the emphasis falls on the enduring value of the inner person and a gentle, quiet spirit precious before God. That character is expressed through controlled speech, patient conduct, and steadfast obedience. Modesty should therefore influence both how a young woman presents herself and how she evaluates others.

Homosexuality and the Christian THERE IS A REBEL IN THE HOUSE

4. How Can I Guard My Thoughts and Resist Sexual Temptation?

A young woman guards her thoughts by examining what she deliberately entertains and responding promptly when a desire conflicts with Scripture. An unexpected image or unwelcome thought can be rejected without being cultivated. James 1:14–15 explains that desire can entice a person and develop into sin, making the chosen response important. The instruction in 1 Thessalonians 4:3–7 requires abstinence from sexual immorality and conduct governed by holiness and honor. She should therefore reject material and conversations intentionally used to arouse desires that have no righteous expression outside marriage. This includes sexually explicit images, written material, and private exchanges designed to encourage improper conduct. Philippians 4:8 supplies positive direction by identifying the qualities that should occupy Christian thinking. Guarding the mind involves refusing corrupting material and giving attention to truth that supports obedient action.

Effective resistance includes examining the circumstances in which temptation repeatedly gains influence. A young woman may recognize that a particular account, private contact, or pattern of late-night browsing repeatedly leads her toward impurity. She should remove the material, end the improper exchange, and adjust the habit that keeps making access easy. In 1 Corinthians 6:18, the command to flee sexual immorality calls for decisive separation from the conduct. Prayer should accompany a willingness to make these changes rather than become a request for strength while the same arrangements are deliberately preserved. The Holy Spirit guides believers through the Spirit-inspired Scriptures, which expose false reasoning and establish the required response. If a sinful habit has become persistent, she should seek appropriate assistance from a mature Christian woman or responsible congregation shepherd. When wrongdoing has occurred, Proverbs 28:13 directs her toward honest confession and abandonment rather than concealment.

5. What Kind of Friends Should I Choose?

A young woman should choose close companions whose conduct encourages truthfulness, purity, humility, and faithfulness to Jehovah. Proverbs 13:20 teaches that walking with the wise contributes to wisdom, while companionship with fools brings harm. The warning in 1 Corinthians 15:33 requires attention to the moral influence of repeated association. A friend’s humor, confidence, or generosity does not cancel the effect of continual pressure toward dishonesty or impurity. A young woman should observe how the person responds to correction, treats absent people, keeps promises, and respects moral boundaries. A trustworthy friend can express concern about a decision without using humiliation or threats. She also accepts honest counsel rather than demanding approval for every preference. Friendship is strengthened when affection and loyalty operate within a shared commitment to what is right.

A young woman should also become the kind of friend she hopes to find. Proverbs 27:6 recognizes the faithfulness of correction offered by a friend, making truthful concern part of loyal companionship. She should refuse to help someone conceal wrongdoing while remaining willing to assist with an honest response. If a friend admits an error, she should encourage repentance and protect appropriate confidence rather than turn the admission into gossip. Courtesy toward people outside the faith remains necessary, as Colossians 4:5–6 requires wise conduct and gracious speech toward outsiders. She can cooperate with classmates, assist neighbors, and treat coworkers kindly while exercising judgment about close personal influence. If an existing friendship repeatedly requires compromise, reducing its place in her life may be necessary. Wise companionship should help both people become more dependable in obedience and more considerate in their treatment of others.

6. How Should I Handle Gossip, Rejection, and Conflict?

Gossip should be addressed by examining the truth, purpose, and proper recipient of the information being shared. Proverbs 11:13 contrasts the disclosure of confidential matters with trustworthy restraint, while Proverbs 16:28 warns that whispering separates close friends. A young woman should refuse to repeat an accusation merely because it is interesting or widely discussed. If she is the subject of an inaccurate report, she should establish what was actually said before responding. Proverbs 18:13 warns against answering before hearing, requiring careful attention to facts. Where correction is appropriate, she should explain the error accurately to the people who need to know. Threats, abuse, and serious wrongdoing should be brought to responsible people who can provide assistance rather than concealed under a demand for silence.

Rejection requires a response that preserves moral judgment without making acceptance the highest goal. A young woman should consider whether the rejection followed faithful conviction, an ordinary difference in preference, or conduct of her own that needs correction. These circumstances require different responses, and wounded feelings alone cannot settle which explanation is accurate. If she has acted harshly, she should acknowledge the wrongdoing and seek to repair it. If others reject her because she refuses sin, Proverbs 29:25 warns against allowing fear of people to capture her decisions. She should continue treating them respectfully while developing relationships with people who support sound conduct. Another person’s refusal of friendship or romantic interest also should not be treated as permission to spread accusations or seek revenge.

Conflict should be addressed through accurate speech, serious listening, and a willingness to accept responsibility. James 1:19–20 requires readiness to hear and restraint in speech and anger, giving practical direction when emotions rise. A young woman should identify the particular issue rather than introduce every earlier disagreement into the conversation. She can describe what occurred, explain its effect, and listen to the other person’s account without pretending to know unexpressed motives. Romans 12:18 directs believers to pursue peace so far as it depends on them, recognizing both responsibility and practical limits. Where hostility continues, she may need appropriate boundaries or assistance from a responsible person. Refusing revenge and seeking a truthful resolution remain her duties even when the other person responds poorly.

7. How Can I Recognize an Unhealthy Romantic Relationship?

An unhealthy romantic relationship repeatedly undermines truth, purity, responsibility, or sound judgment. A young woman should pay attention to patterns of dishonesty, intimidation, sexual pressure, humiliation, and demands for secrecy. Proverbs 14:15 commends prudent consideration, requiring her to examine conduct rather than rely entirely on promises. A man may speak affectionately while becoming angry whenever she refuses a request or consults someone he cannot control. He may present possessiveness as love or insist that her existing responsibilities prove she does not care enough about him. Such claims require examination according to Scripture rather than acceptance because the relationship matters to her. In 1 Corinthians 13:4–6, love is associated with kindness, rejection of selfish conduct, and rejoicing with truth. A relationship that repeatedly depends on the opposite qualities deserves serious reconsideration.

A young woman should distinguish an acknowledged mistake followed by change from an apology used to prevent further examination. Remorseful words alone cannot establish that a repeated pattern has ended. She should observe whether the person accepts responsibility without blaming her and whether changed conduct continues over time. Colossians 3:19 forbids a husband to be harsh toward his wife, providing a clear standard that romantic conduct should not contradict. A man who punishes reasonable boundaries through insults, threats, or deliberate humiliation is demonstrating behavior inconsistent with that command. She should speak with trustworthy Christians who can consider the facts without pressuring her to preserve the relationship at any cost. Stepping back or ending the relationship may be necessary when continuing it would require denial of serious evidence.

Where threats, coercion, or violence occur, obtaining protection becomes an immediate practical concern. Proverbs 22:3 commends recognizing danger and taking appropriate shelter. A young woman should seek help from trustworthy people and appropriate authorities when protection is needed. She does not bear responsibility for another person’s decision to threaten, assault, or control her through force. Sexual assault is the wrongdoing of the person committing it, and suffering that harm does not make her guilty of his sin. A demand that she remain silent to preserve his reputation adds pressure to the existing harm. Sound biblical counsel must take the danger seriously and help her obtain responsible assistance.

8. What Should I Look for in a Christian Husband?

A young woman should look for a man whose professed faith is supported by consistent obedience and readiness for the responsibilities of marriage. The instruction in 1 Corinthians 7:39 that marriage be “only in the Lord” establishes a necessary spiritual boundary. Within that boundary, careful judgment remains necessary because a Christian profession must be examined alongside conduct. Ephesians 5:25–29 requires a husband to love and care for his wife, while 1 Peter 3:7 requires understanding and honor in his treatment of her. She should observe whether he listens seriously, speaks truthfully, accepts correction, and treats her convictions with respect. His handling of work, money, family relationships, and disagreements provides practical evidence of his maturity. A man who is generous in public but irresponsible in private needs further examination rather than automatic trust. Readiness for marriage includes dependable character where admiration provides little immediate reward.

The consideration should also include whether both people understand the duties they are preparing to accept. Titus 2:4–5 identifies responsibilities of love, self-control, purity, household care, kindness, and submission within a wife’s own marriage. A prospective husband should understand his corresponding obligation to exercise loving care rather than treat marriage as permission for selfish control. Both should discuss important matters honestly, including finances, family responsibilities, work, worship, and the handling of disagreement. These conversations should reveal whether agreements are realistic and whether difficult questions can be considered without hostility. Proverbs 15:22 recognizes the value of counsel, supporting the involvement of trustworthy people who know the couple’s conduct. A young woman should also examine whether she is developing the honesty, patience, and responsibility she expects from him. Attraction can accompany a wise decision, while sound judgment requires a broader assessment of character and readiness.

9. How Can I Use My Abilities to Serve Jehovah While Unmarried?

An unmarried young woman can serve Jehovah through faithful learning, evangelism, practical assistance, and dependable participation in congregational life. In 1 Corinthians 7:32–35, Paul recognizes the opportunity unmarried believers have for devoted attention to the things of the Lord. Her present life therefore contains meaningful work that should receive serious consideration. She can identify abilities already available to her and actual needs among family members, fellow Christians, and others she can appropriately assist. Acts 9:36–39 describes Tabitha’s good works and the garments she made, showing that practical skill can benefit people directly. A young woman who can cook, organize, sew, provide transportation, or explain a passage clearly can consider where those abilities would serve a legitimate need. The help should fit her capacity and be offered with a commitment she can fulfill. Her usefulness grows through dependable service rather than waiting for a future household to give her life purpose.

Spiritual learning must continue alongside practical activity. Luke 10:38–42 records Mary listening to Jesus’ teaching and His commendation of her choice, showing the importance of receiving His instruction. A young woman should give serious attention to understanding Scripture so that her service rests on sound knowledge. Matthew 28:19–20 establishes the responsibility to make disciples and teach obedience to Christ, while 1 Peter 3:15 calls for readiness to explain Christian hope respectfully. She can prepare to answer sincere questions and look for appropriate opportunities among relatives, classmates, coworkers, or neighbors. Titus 2:3–5 also gives her reason to learn from faithful older Christian women and develop qualities that can benefit younger women as she matures. Marriage may become part of her future, but present faithfulness already requires the responsible use of her abilities. She should serve according to what she can actually do while continuing to grow in knowledge, kindness, and reliability.

10. How Should I Make Decisions About Education, Work, and My Future?

A young woman should begin by identifying the biblical duties that must govern any acceptable plan. Matthew 6:33 establishes the priority of God’s Kingdom and righteousness, placing education, employment, and other ambitions within a life of obedience. Proverbs 18:15 commends the acquisition of knowledge, while Proverbs 22:29 recognizes competence in work. She should therefore consider education and training according to their usefulness, requirements, costs, and connection with realistic responsibilities. An impressive title does not establish that a course is suitable, and an ordinary form of training should not be dismissed because it attracts less recognition. She should gather accurate information about what the preparation involves and what abilities the work requires. Honest study and willingness to learn are necessary whatever path she considers. Counsel from people with relevant experience can help expose practical assumptions that need correction.

Employment should be evaluated according to the work itself and the conditions under which it must be performed. Colossians 3:23 requires wholehearted effort, while Ephesians 4:28 connects honest labor with responsible provision and assistance to others. A young woman should consider whether the position can be carried out truthfully and consistently with Christian morality. She should also examine the effect of its demands on existing family duties, congregational participation, and the ability to keep necessary commitments. Financial decisions require an accurate account of income, essential expenses, and any repayment obligations. Proverbs 21:5 commends diligent planning, while Proverbs 22:7 warns about the dependence associated with borrowing. She should avoid making commitments that rely on resources she has not secured or assistance nobody has agreed to provide. A realistic plan gives proper attention to both immediate duties and the preparation needed for future ones.

Long-term planning must remain humble because continued life and desired outcomes are not under complete human control. James 4:13–15 warns against confident plans that ignore dependence on God. A young woman should therefore distinguish what Scripture commands from personal choices that may be decided through informed judgment. More than one occupation, place of residence, or educational path may be consistent with faithful obedience. Prayer should accompany examination of the facts and willingness to adjust a plan when circumstances change. The Holy Spirit guides through the Spirit-inspired Scriptures, so private impressions must not be treated as authority to disregard a command or overlook serious evidence. If a preferred opportunity closes, she should consider what responsibilities and useful alternatives remain available. Faithful planning continues through the next responsible decision that can be made in her actual circumstances.

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About the Author

EDWARD D. ANDREWS (AS in Criminal Justice, BS in Religion, MA in Biblical Studies, and MDiv in Theology) is CEO and President of Christian Publishing House. He has authored over 220+ books. In addition, Andrews is the Chief Translator of the Updated American Standard Version (UASV).

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