Is This Person Right for Me?

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A Christian Young Person’s Guide to Choosing a Relationship that Honors God and Protects Your Heart

Maybe you’ve met someone who makes your heart race. They’re kind, fun to talk to, and you have great chemistry. Or maybe you’re already a few weeks—or months—into a relationship, and now the big question starts pressing into your mind: “Is this person right for me?” It’s a fair question. It’s also a very important one.

As a young Christian, you’re not just called to date for fun or flirt your way through life. You’re called to walk in wisdom and holiness (Ephesians 5:15). That means approaching relationships with clarity, not just emotion. The person you choose to give your heart to will influence your spiritual life, your future, your habits, and possibly—even your eternity.

So how can you know if someone is right for you? Is it just about having good vibes and shared interests? Or is there something deeper to look for—something real, something grounded in God’s truth? Let’s walk through how to answer this question with maturity, discernment, and Scripture-based wisdom.

Being “Right for You” Isn’t About Perfect Compatibility—It’s About God-Honoring Character

The world tells you that “the right person” is someone who looks a certain way, makes you feel good, shares your hobbies, and agrees with your every opinion. But physical attraction and compatibility alone are not the foundation of a godly relationship.

Character is.

Ask: Does this person fear God? Do they pursue Christ? Do they show humility, honesty, self-control, and kindness? These traits are far more important than charm, humor, popularity, or shared playlists.

Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” The same is true in reverse—handsome looks and smooth words won’t carry a relationship when trials come.

Someone who is “right for you” is someone who helps you grow closer to God—not someone who makes you forget about Him.

Don’t Just Look at Their Faith—Watch Their Fruit

It’s easy for someone to say they believe in God. But Jesus warned in Matthew 7:16, “You will know them by their fruits.” In other words, true faith shows itself in daily life. Not just what they claim on Sunday—but how they live on Monday.

Ask yourself:

Do they love the things of God or mock them?
Do they pursue purity or play games with temptation?
Are they honest when no one’s looking?
Do they speak truth or manipulate people?
Do they pray, serve, and hunger for righteousness?

If their faith doesn’t impact their behavior, that’s a red flag. Don’t date potential. Date proof. Someone who is right for you will already be walking the path you’re trying to stay on.

Do You Help Each Other Follow Christ—or Drift from Him?

1 Corinthians 15:33 warns, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” The wrong relationship can pull even strong believers into compromise. The right relationship, however, will build your faith, sharpen your conscience, and encourage you toward obedience.

Ask: Since getting close to this person, am I more on fire for God or more distracted from Him? Am I more faithful in prayer and purity, or more casual about sin?

Sometimes the truth hurts. But a relationship that weakens your spiritual life is not one God is blessing. No matter how much chemistry you feel or how fun the person is—if they are pulling you away from your spiritual walk, they are not right for you.

The right person will never make you choose between them and God. They’ll push you toward Him.

Is There Emotional Maturity and Honesty?

It’s not just about spiritual alignment. Emotional maturity matters too.

Does this person know how to communicate? Are they humble enough to admit when they’re wrong? Do they deal with conflict through yelling, manipulation, or silent treatment—or with truth and grace?

Proverbs 16:32 says, “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” If someone constantly lives off their emotions, treats you like an emotional dumping ground, or plays mind games, that’s immaturity—not love.

Look for someone who is emotionally steady, slow to anger, quick to forgive, and serious about treating others with respect. If your relationship feels like a roller coaster, ask why.

Do You Share the Same Direction in Life?

Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” Relationships require shared vision. That means you should not just ask do we like each other, but are we heading the same direction?

Do you both want to serve God? Are your values aligned when it comes to marriage, family, purpose, and church? Do you agree on things like purity, priorities, and how to deal with sin?

If your life goals clash now, the relationship will become even more difficult later. The right person for you is someone who not only walks with you, but walks toward the same goal—pleasing Christ.

Don’t Ignore Red Flags for the Sake of Romance

It’s easy to overlook issues when you’re infatuated. But God gave you a conscience, wise friends, and His Word for a reason.

Red flags might include:

Disrespect toward authority
Emotional manipulation
Sexual pressure or impurity
Lukewarm spiritual life
Addictive behaviors
Secrecy or dishonesty
Controlling attitudes
Mocking Scripture or godly counsel

Don’t excuse these things just because you “feel a connection.” Feelings fade. Character doesn’t lie. God is not honored by relationships that ignore warning signs and “hope for the best.”

Are You Right for Them?

This question cuts both ways. Instead of only asking if the other person is right for you, ask if you’re right for them.

Are you walking in holiness, humility, and wisdom? Are you emotionally whole—or expecting someone else to complete you? Are you able to lead, support, and serve in a relationship—or just looking to receive?

Often, God’s timing says “not yet” not because the other person is wrong—but because you’re not ready. Let God work on your heart before trying to give it away.

Become the kind of person you hope to find. Then, when the right one comes, you’ll be ready.

Final Thoughts: You Don’t Need to Guess—You Need to Discern

So, is this person right for you?

The answer will never be found just by asking your heart. It’s found by searching Scripture, seeking godly counsel, examining fruit, and praying with sincerity. If God is not leading the relationship, it doesn’t matter how much fun, charm, or chemistry you feel—it’s not right.

But if the relationship honors God, pushes you toward righteousness, and brings peace—not pressure—then you may be seeing the beginning of something good.

Psalm 37:23 says, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way.” Let God guide your steps, not your emotions. He knows what’s best for your heart—and He will never lead you into something that forces you to compromise your convictions.

Are you willing to wait, pray, and walk in the light until the right person comes along—or are you rushing into something that could damage your soul?

The choice you make now could shape your future. So choose wisely—and let God lead.

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About the Author

EDWARD D. ANDREWS (AS in Criminal Justice, BS in Religion, MA in Biblical Studies, and MDiv in Theology) is CEO and President of Christian Publishing House. He has authored over 220+ books. In addition, Andrews is the Chief Translator of the Updated American Standard Version (UASV).