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Marriage, as designed by Jehovah, is meant to be a lasting, stable, and fulfilling union between a man and a woman. Genesis 2:24 provides the foundational principle for marriage: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This design for marriage shows the permanence and exclusivity of the relationship between husband and wife. While many today view marriage as temporary or disposable, the Bible teaches that marriage was designed to last a lifetime. Jesus himself emphasized this when he said, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). But how can this kind of lasting marriage be achieved? The two essential keys to a successful and enduring marriage are love and respect. When these two qualities are cultivated and maintained, the marriage bond grows stronger, even through difficult times.
For How Long Was Marriage Designed to Last? How Is This Possible?
Marriage was designed to last for life. From the very beginning, Jehovah established the marriage covenant as a permanent bond. Jesus’ words in Matthew 19:4-6 confirm this: “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Jesus was addressing the issue of divorce and reaffirming that marriage is intended to be a lifelong commitment.
The possibility of maintaining a lifelong marriage lies in both partners adhering to biblical principles and cultivating the necessary qualities that Jehovah designed to support this union. Ephesians 5:21-33 provides crucial guidance for both husbands and wives on how they can fulfill their roles in the marriage, emphasizing the importance of love and respect. When couples view their marriage as a covenant before God, they understand that they are not merely entering into a social contract but are engaging in a sacred commitment. This understanding motivates both partners to strive for harmony and to work through challenges, knowing that their marriage is intended to reflect Jehovah’s purpose.
What Three Kinds of Love Should Be Cultivated by Marriage Mates?
Marriage mates should cultivate three distinct types of love that the Bible highlights, each of which plays a vital role in creating a strong and lasting bond.
The first type is eros, or romantic love. This is the passionate, emotional love that draws a husband and wife together. Proverbs 5:18-19 encourages spouses to delight in each other’s physical and emotional intimacy: “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” While this love is important, it is not enough on its own to sustain a marriage. Eros alone may fade over time if it is not supported by deeper, more enduring forms of love.
The second type of love is philia, or friendship love. This type of love is crucial for building companionship and mutual trust between spouses. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 highlights the importance of having a companion: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.” A strong marriage is one where the spouses are not only lovers but also close friends, sharing common goals, interests, and emotional support. Friendship creates a foundation of trust and understanding that can weather life’s storms.
The third type of love is agape, or selfless love. This is the highest form of love, characterized by self-sacrifice, patience, and unconditional care for one another. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 beautifully describes agape love: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Agape love is essential for a lasting marriage because it goes beyond feelings and emotions. It is a deliberate choice to put the other person’s needs ahead of one’s own and to remain committed even when it is difficult.
What Is a Fourth Kind of Love?
In addition to the three loves—eros, philia, and agape—there is another form of love that is crucial in marriage: storge, or familial love. Storge is the natural affection that family members have for one another. In a marriage, this love manifests in the sense of belonging and security that a husband and wife provide for each other. Romans 12:10 uses this term when encouraging believers to “love one another with brotherly affection.” In a marriage, storge creates a sense of comfort and familiarity, allowing both partners to feel safe and cared for within the family unit.
While storge love is often more understated than eros or agape, it plays a significant role in the everyday interactions between a husband and wife. It creates an environment of warmth, where both partners know that they are valued and supported.
Why Is Love Greater Than Faith and Hope? What Are Some Reasons Why Love Will Help Make a Marriage Last?
1 Corinthians 13:13 declares, “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” Love is greater than faith and hope because it is eternal, while faith and hope will be fulfilled in the future Kingdom. Love, however, is enduring and will continue even after other aspects of life are complete. In marriage, love is the glue that holds a couple together. While faith and hope are essential for a Christian’s life, it is love—especially agape love—that sustains a marriage.
Love helps make a marriage last because it motivates both partners to care for one another’s needs, even when it is difficult. Ephesians 5:25 commands, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This sacrificial love mirrors Christ’s selfless love for the church and creates an environment of mutual care and respect in marriage. When both partners are committed to showing agape love, their marriage becomes a place of safety, trust, and endurance.
What Is Respect, and Who Should Show Respect in Marriage?
Respect is the acknowledgment of the other person’s worth, dignity, and contributions. In marriage, both the husband and the wife are called to show respect to one another. Ephesians 5:33 sums this up well: “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Respect is essential for maintaining harmony in a marriage because it ensures that both partners feel valued and honored in their roles.
A wife shows respect for her husband by supporting his role as the head of the family, as outlined in Ephesians 5:22: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” This does not imply subservience but rather an acknowledgment of the biblical order of authority within the family. When a wife respects her husband’s headship, she is honoring God’s design for marriage and contributing to the stability of the home.
Likewise, a husband must respect his wife by showing appreciation for her contributions and valuing her opinions. 1 Peter 3:7 instructs husbands to “live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life.” This respect fosters a sense of partnership and unity in the marriage, preventing resentment or bitterness from taking root.
What Are Some Ways That Respect Will Help to Make a Marriage Union Stable and Happy?
Respect is a cornerstone of stability in marriage because it creates an atmosphere where both partners feel heard, valued, and understood. When a husband and wife consistently show respect for one another, they build a foundation of trust that allows them to navigate disagreements and challenges without feeling threatened or disrespected.
For example, respect in communication means listening attentively to one another’s thoughts and feelings, even when there is disagreement. James 1:19 encourages, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” When respect is present, both partners feel that their opinions are valued, which can prevent misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts.
Respect also fosters a sense of equality in the marriage. While the husband is the head of the family, both husband and wife are equal heirs of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7). When respect is mutual, the couple is able to work together as partners, each contributing their unique strengths to the marriage.
Scripturally, Who Is the Head in a Marriage?
The Bible clearly teaches that the husband is the head of the marriage. Ephesians 5:23 states, “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” This headship, however, is not one of domination or control but of loving leadership. The husband’s role as head is modeled after Christ’s headship over the church—a role marked by self-sacrifice, service, and care.
The husband’s headship is meant to provide protection, guidance, and stability for the family. Colossians 3:19 reinforces this by instructing husbands, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” A husband who exercises his headship in a Christlike manner will prioritize his wife’s well-being, leading with love, patience, and humility.
What Fine Example Did Jesus Set Both of Showing Subjection and of Exercising Headship?
Jesus set a perfect example of headship through his relationship with the church. As the head of the church, Christ demonstrated ultimate love and sacrifice by giving his life for the salvation of his followers. Ephesians 5:25-27 explains, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”
At the same time, Jesus also demonstrated subjection to Jehovah. In John 6:38, Jesus said, “For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me.” Jesus perfectly submitted to the Father’s authority, showing that even in a position of power, humility and obedience are crucial. This balance of headship and submission provides the model for husbands in marriage, who are called to lead their families with the same love, humility, and selflessness that Christ displayed.
How Will a Loving Husband Exercise His Headship, in Imitation of Jesus?
A loving husband will exercise his headship by leading his family with Christlike love, putting the needs of his wife and children ahead of his own. Just as Christ served the church, a husband is called to serve his family. Mark 10:45 reminds us, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” A husband who imitates Jesus’ headship will be willing to make personal sacrifices for the well-being of his family, ensuring that they are cared for, protected, and nurtured.
Additionally, a loving husband will exercise his headship with wisdom and understanding. 1 Peter 3:7 instructs husbands to live with their wives “in an understanding way,” showing honor and respect. This means that a husband should be attentive to his wife’s emotional, physical, and spiritual needs, making decisions that benefit the entire family rather than pursuing his own desires.
By exercising headship in a loving and Christlike manner, a husband creates a stable and harmonious home where his wife feels valued and supported.
How Can a Husband Show Christlike Love and Respect for His Wife?
A husband can show Christlike love for his wife by consistently putting her needs before his own and treating her with kindness, patience, and compassion. Ephesians 5:28-29 advises, “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.” By treating his wife with the same care and consideration that he would show to himself, a husband demonstrates Christlike love.
Respect is also a key element of Christlike love. Colossians 3:19 warns husbands, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” A husband who respects his wife will speak to her kindly, listen to her opinions, and involve her in decisions that affect the family. By showing respect, a husband affirms his wife’s worth and strengthens the marriage bond.
What Qualities Should a Wife Display in Her Relationship with Her Husband?
A wife should display qualities of love, respect, and support in her relationship with her husband. Ephesians 5:22-24 encourages wives to submit to their husbands “as to the Lord,” recognizing the husband’s role as the head of the family. This submission is not about inferiority but about respecting the God-given order of authority within the family. A wife who supports her husband’s leadership helps to create harmony and unity in the marriage.
In addition to submission, a wife should exhibit love and kindness toward her husband. Proverbs 31:26 praises the virtuous wife, saying, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” A wife who speaks kindly and lovingly to her husband fosters a positive and nurturing environment in the home.
What Are Some Ways That a Wife Can Be a Real Helper to Her Husband?
A wife can be a real helper to her husband by offering support, encouragement, and counsel. Genesis 2:18 describes the wife as a “helper fit for him,” meaning that she complements her husband and works alongside him to fulfill Jehovah’s purposes for their family. A wife can help her husband by providing emotional support during difficult times, offering practical assistance with household tasks, and contributing her wisdom and insight to family decisions.
Furthermore, a wife can be a spiritual helper by encouraging her husband to remain faithful to Jehovah and by supporting his role as the spiritual head of the family. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 instructs, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” A wife who encourages her husband in his spiritual responsibilities strengthens the entire family’s faith and unity.
What If a Husband Asks His Wife to Break God’s Law?
If a husband asks his wife to break God’s law, she is not obligated to submit to that request. Acts 5:29 provides the guiding principle: “We must obey God rather than men.” While a wife is called to respect and submit to her husband’s headship, her ultimate loyalty is to Jehovah. If a husband’s request violates God’s law, the wife must respectfully decline and continue to follow Jehovah’s commands.
This situation requires wisdom and discernment, as the wife must maintain a respectful attitude toward her husband while standing firm in her commitment to Jehovah. By remaining faithful to God, the wife can continue to be a positive influence in her marriage, even in difficult circumstances.
What Is a Vital Area in Which Love and Respect Are Essential?
A vital area where love and respect are essential is communication. Proverbs 18:21 warns, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” The way spouses speak to each other can either build up the marriage or tear it down. Love and respect should guide every conversation between a husband and wife, ensuring that their words are kind, constructive, and aimed at building unity.
Good communication also involves listening attentively and showing empathy for the other person’s feelings. James 1:19 advises, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” When both partners listen with respect and respond with love, they create an environment where open and honest communication can flourish.
How Will Proper Speech Help to Keep a Marriage Happy?
Proper speech helps to keep a marriage happy by fostering understanding, preventing misunderstandings, and resolving conflicts. Ephesians 4:29 encourages, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” When spouses speak kindly and respectfully to one another, they contribute to a positive and uplifting atmosphere in the home.
Moreover, proper speech helps to defuse tension and prevent conflicts from escalating. Proverbs 15:1 teaches, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” By responding to one another with gentle and loving words, couples can resolve disagreements peacefully and maintain harmony in their marriage.
What Attitudes Do Couples Need in Order to Maintain Good Communication?
To maintain good communication, couples need attitudes of humility, patience, and empathy. Philippians 2:3-4 provides a helpful reminder: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” When both partners adopt a humble attitude, they are more willing to listen, compromise, and seek mutual understanding.
Patience is also essential for good communication. Colossians 3:12 encourages believers to “put on… compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” In a marriage, this means giving your spouse the time and space to express their thoughts and feelings without rushing to judgment or becoming frustrated.
Empathy allows spouses to truly understand and appreciate one another’s perspectives. Romans 12:15 urges, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” By showing empathy, couples can build deeper emotional connections and foster a greater sense of unity in their marriage.
How Will Love and Respect Help When There Are Disagreements? Give an Example.
Love and respect provide the foundation for resolving disagreements in a way that strengthens the marriage rather than weakening it. When disagreements arise, love motivates both partners to seek a solution that benefits the other person, while respect ensures that they approach the conflict with gentleness and consideration.
For example, suppose a husband and wife disagree about how to handle a financial decision. Instead of becoming defensive or argumentative, they can approach the issue with love and respect. The husband might say, “I understand your concerns, and I want to make a decision that works for both of us.” The wife could respond, “I appreciate your willingness to listen, and I trust that we can find a solution together.” By focusing on love and respect, they are able to work through the disagreement without damaging their relationship.
How Will Good Communication Contribute to Happiness in the Intimate Aspects of Married Life?
Good communication is essential for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling intimate relationship in marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 emphasizes the importance of mutual care and respect in the sexual aspect of marriage: “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband… Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time.” Open and honest communication allows couples to express their needs, desires, and concerns, fostering a deeper connection and ensuring that both partners feel valued and fulfilled.
When couples communicate effectively about their intimate relationship, they are better able to navigate any challenges or misunderstandings that may arise. This leads to greater satisfaction and happiness in the marriage, as both partners feel heard, respected, and cherished.
Even Though Every Marriage Will Have Its Ups and Downs, How Will Listening to God’s Word Help Married Couples to Find Happiness?
Listening to God’s Word provides married couples with the guidance and wisdom they need to navigate the ups and downs of life. Psalm 119:105 declares, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” By applying biblical principles to their marriage, couples can find solutions to their problems, build a strong foundation of love and respect, and experience the joy that comes from living according to Jehovah’s will.
When couples make God’s Word the central focus of their marriage, they are equipped to handle challenges with grace and resilience. Proverbs 3:5-6 encourages, “Trust in Jehovah with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Couples who trust in Jehovah and seek His guidance will find that their marriage grows stronger and more joyful, even in difficult times.
About the Author
EDWARD D. ANDREWS (AS in Criminal Justice, BS in Religion, MA in Biblical Studies, and MDiv in Theology) is CEO and President of Christian Publishing House. He has authored over 220+ books. In addition, Andrews is the Chief Translator of the Updated American Standard Version (UASV).
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