THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY: How to Show Respect

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How to Show Respect: Tips for Building Stronger Relationships

EDWARD D. ANDREWS (AS in Criminal Justice, BS in Religion, MA in Biblical Studies, and MDiv in Theology) is CEO and President of Christian Publishing House. He has authored over 200+ books. In addition, Andrews is the Chief Translator of the Updated American Standard Version (UASV).

Respect is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship, whether it is between friends, colleagues, or partners in a marriage. It is essential to show respect towards others, especially your significant other, to build a strong, loving, and enduring relationship.

In this article, we will explore actionable tips on how to show respect in marriage and improve your relationships through effective communication.

  1. Listen actively

Active listening is a crucial component of showing respect in any relationship. When your partner is speaking, give them your full attention and avoid interrupting or talking over them. Respond thoughtfully and ask questions to demonstrate that you are engaged and interested in what they are saying.

Communicate clearly and respectfully

It is essential to communicate in a way that is clear and respectful, regardless of the situation. Use language that is inclusive and avoid offensive or condescending tones. When expressing your feelings or opinions, do so in a way that is considerate of your partner’s emotions and feelings.

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Acknowledge your spouse’s feelings and opinions

It is important to validate your partner’s feelings and opinions, even if you do not agree with them. Acknowledging their perspective demonstrates that you respect them as an individual and value their thoughts and emotions.

Practice empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. When you practice empathy towards your partner, you demonstrate that you care about their emotions and experiences. This can help to build trust and strengthen your relationship.

Show appreciation

Showing appreciation for your partner’s efforts and contributions can go a long way in demonstrating respect. Recognize and thank them for their hard work, kindness, and support. This can help to foster a sense of mutual respect and gratitude in your relationship.

In conclusion, showing respect is an essential component of building strong, healthy relationships. By actively listening, communicating clearly and respectfully, acknowledging your partner’s feelings and opinions, practicing empathy, and showing appreciation, you can demonstrate respect towards your significant other and foster a loving and enduring relationship.

There are many ways that people can be disrespectful, and it’s important to be aware of them in order to avoid unintentionally hurting others. Here are some common examples of disrespectful behavior and tips on how to avoid them:

  1. Interrupting others: Interrupting someone while they are speaking can be very disrespectful, as it can imply that what they have to say is not important. To avoid interrupting, make sure you wait until the person has finished speaking before you start talking.

  2. Dismissing someone’s opinions: Dismissing someone’s opinions can be hurtful and disrespectful. Even if you disagree with someone, it’s important to show that you respect their right to have their own opinions. Try to listen carefully and respond with empathy and understanding.

  3. Speaking in a condescending tone: Speaking in a condescending tone can make others feel belittled and disrespected. To avoid this, try to use a tone that is friendly and respectful, even if you are disagreeing with someone.

  4. Ignoring someone: Ignoring someone can be a very hurtful form of disrespect. If you are in a conversation, make sure you give the person your full attention and respond appropriately. If you need to step away, let the person know when you will be back.

  5. Using offensive language: Using offensive language, whether it’s directed at someone or not, can be very disrespectful. To avoid this, try to use language that is inclusive and respectful of everyone, regardless of their background or beliefs.

  6. Making assumptions: Making assumptions about someone’s beliefs or intentions can be disrespectful, as it can show that you are not interested in getting to know them as a person. Instead, try to ask questions and get to know the person before making any assumptions.

  7. Not respecting personal space: Not respecting someone’s personal space can be very disrespectful and can make them feel uncomfortable. To avoid this, make sure you give people enough space and avoid invading their personal space.

Overall, it’s important to be aware of how our behavior can affect others and to take steps to avoid being disrespectful. By showing respect and consideration to others, we can create a more positive and inclusive environment for everyone.

The Husband and Wife

In a challenging situation, a husband and wife reflect on their differing views on showing respect in their marriage. The husband explains that while he and his wife both have valid perspectives, he often felt that his wife should have been more respectful in the way she spoke to him. On the other hand, the wife attributes her communication style to the culture in which she was raised, where speaking loudly, using dramatic facial expressions, and interrupting others were accepted as normal.

Despite their differences, it is important to recognize that respect is crucial in any marriage. It is not merely a luxury, but a fundamental necessity. To demonstrate respect towards your partner, it is essential to communicate in a way that is considerate of their background and feelings. This means actively listening to your partner when they are speaking, avoiding interrupting them, and being mindful of your tone and language when communicating. Additionally, taking the time to understand your partner’s cultural or personal upbringing can help to prevent misunderstandings and foster a more respectful and harmonious relationship. Ultimately, demonstrating mutual respect is key to building a strong, healthy, and enduring marriage.

What You Need to Know

It is important to understand that men have a specific need for respect in a marriage. The Bible emphasizes that husbands should love their wives as they love themselves, but also that wives should show deep respect for their husbands. Although both partners require love and respect, husbands particularly thrive on the latter. As one husband named Carlos explains, men need to feel capable of handling situations, solving problems, and caring for their family. When a wife shows respect for her husband’s abilities, both partners benefit. Corrine, a wife, confirms that her husband demonstrates his love for her more when she shows him respect.

However, wives also require respect in a marriage. This is because a husband cannot truly love a wife whom he does not respect. It is essential for husbands to respect their wives’ opinions, suggestions, and emotions. As Daniel points out, even if he does not understand why his wife feels a certain way, he cannot dismiss her feelings.

It is important to remember that respect is subjective. The issue is not whether one thinks they are showing respect but whether their partner feels respected. As the wife mentioned in “The Challenge” learned, even if she did not intend to be disrespectful, if her husband felt disrespected, she needed to change her behavior.

In summary, respect is a crucial aspect of a successful marriage. Both partners require love and respect, but men particularly thrive on respect. It is essential to show respect for each other’s abilities, opinions, and emotions and to ensure that both partners feel respected in the relationship.

What You Need to Do

To build respect in a marriage, it can be helpful to write down three things that you admire about your partner. These traits can serve as a foundation for building respect. For one week, track your own conduct in the following areas, without focusing on your partner’s behavior.

Firstly, consider your words. Studies show that happy and stable couples make five positive remarks for every negative one when discussing conflict, while couples headed for divorce make less than one positive remark for every negative one. It is essential to ask yourself whether you speak respectfully to your partner, how often you criticize versus compliment, and the tone of your voice when expressing observations or complaints. Would your partner agree with your answers?

Set a goal to give your partner at least one compliment per day to build respect. You can reflect on the admirable traits you identified earlier and make a habit of telling your partner what you admire about them.

Secondly, consider your actions. A wife named Alicia shared that she feels respected by her husband when he picks up after himself or washes his dishes, acknowledging her efforts in managing the household. It is important to ask yourself whether your behavior conveys respect towards your partner and whether you give them enough time and attention. Would your partner agree with your answers?

To work on showing respect, you and your partner can write down three ways that you would like to be shown respect and exchange lists. Focus on your own need to show respect, as taking the lead can encourage your partner to follow suit.

In summary, building respect in a marriage requires conscious effort and action. By focusing on your own conduct, setting goals, and acknowledging admirable traits in your partner, you can cultivate a more respectful and positive relationship.

Important Scriptures

Proverbs 12:18 – “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Colossians 3:13 – “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

1 Corinthians 8:1 – “Now concerning food offered to idols: we know that “all of us possess knowledge.” This “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up.”

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